Monday 26 March 2012

O-O-O-ORGASMIC BIRTH YOU SAY....

WOW! So thats some headline! Orgasmic birth. Im sure we've all heard about those freaky woman who experiance orgasms during labor and birth. They make noises similar or the same during a contraction as they would during a love making session with their other half. We all think of them as freaks and wonder does this stuff auctually happen?! What do i think about this? Well it could take me a while, even a few days to finish this post as i want to get my research and the way i write it all correct. But, here i go.

If someone had told me 5years ago when i was pregnant with my 1st that achieving an orgasm during labor was quite likely and did happen, i wouldve said they were crazy. After all, id only just discovered the world of the big 'O' myself. Hey, i was only 18! Now all this time, babies and research later i can tell you that this time around i truly believe that it can happen and i cannot wait! So here goes...

Basic female anatomy suggests that we are born with a vagina for the sole purpose of concieving and giving birth. That being said there are 2 things within that purpose. The whole concieving part is something within itself and im sure for alot of us it goes wwwaaayyy beyond the making a baby part. We touch ourselves to feel good. We allow our husbands and partners to touch us to make us both feel good and this leads us to feeling that closeness that no other feels with us. For me, and this is getting personal, when my husband and i kiss and begin to get intimate, just like with any other womans body, we get excited, our body begins to relax and starts to open to allow our male partner to enter. So pretty plain and simple, this is the same concept as an orgasmic birth. Given the privacy and assurance you need during labor, kissing and having your husband touch you and even sex during labor can be such a GREAT thing as 1. it relaxes you and makes you feel good and 2. it helps to open your body ready to bring your baby into the world.
So thats what i think, heres some facts!

 "There are benefits to the mother beyond helping them rid themselves of shame, fear and guilt. An orgasm is 22 times more powerful than a tranquilizer and during sexual arousal a woman's vagina can widen as much as two inches. When women find their power during the birth experience and learn to ride the contractions, it can be an incredible, even healing experience."  Laura Shanley, author of the book Unassisted childbirth.

Note to self: read this book!!

The 'normal' way that women around the world give birth - laying prone in a room full of strangers - is not the natural way. It might even be the cause of some birth problems. Shanley cites a study that showed that when a stranger enters a room where a pregnant monkey is housed, :both the heart rate and the blood pressure of her fetus goes down. Of course, in the delivery room a drop in the heart rate of the baby often triggers a Cesarean section."
Shanley says that stress and 'fight or flight' reactions cause huge changes in a woman's body. "There's a reason that animals seek seclusion in birth. Everyone understands that being in a brightly lit room with a group of people watching you wouldn't make a comfortable environment for someone going to the bathroom or having sex. But for an equally intimate, personal activity like birth, people don't make the connection. Woman don't need to choose between drugs, epidurals, and Cesarean sections on one hand and fear of a natural but painful childbirth on the other. There really is a third way and it's more natural."

So what this is all leading me to tell you and to think is that i need to give birth in an environment i feel safest in. For me, that is my home. If i feel safe in my environment i then obviously need to surround myself with only the people i feel safest with. For me this is my husband and my children. Here i do need to say however that my husband has expressed that he's not completley feeling ok with the idea of an unassisted birth so to comprimise, because i want him to feel safe so he can help me feel safe, we do have a midwife who i see regulary. Shes great although we have also discussed the possibility of calling her "too late" and not calling untill our babys in my arms. We shall see.
Sooo, im feeling safe at home, i have the people i most love surrounding me and giving me strength, ive learnt to trust my body and to believe in what i can do. Honestly, im excited! What are your thoughts??

Orgasmic birth...bring it on!!

Saturday 24 March 2012

The NZ papers headline today

This morning i was awoken by a text from my husband. He'd got to work and read the headline of the NZ sunday paper, the herald.... Mother grieves lost baby.

Heres the article link: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/health/news/article.cfm?c_id=204&objectid=10794474

So let me just point out, im also 22, i also have had 2 previous csers. Now im freaking!! Well not freaking but im left wondering what went wrong here. In my head i have everything planned out, what happens when i go into labor, how i will manage certain situations etc etc. But im left thinking that at the end of the day you can sometimes never plan things they just happen. I can do all the research and have all the support i need but at the end of the day my uterus may just rupture. I guess im saying i could plan the party food, decorate the area and have the lawns and gardens looking immaculate but at the end of the day it still may rain.

Im reading and re-reading through this article. So she presented via ambulance at 1am a few days shy of her due date, booked in for a cser a few days later. She had severe pain and was told she could have pulled a muscle. I had my 2nd baby at the same hospital, middle more and im guessing she was placed in a room on ctg monitors and having no midwife was probably not checked properly. Im also guessing they had done no ultrasound and there was no follow up on her medical history notes. Personally i know that rupture can just happen but surely a woman who has had 2 previous csers and presents in ED with pain locating from that area would be placed on high alert and the doctors and nurses following this case would have been extra careful with monitoring her.

In my case, i have sooo many doctors and OB's constantly on my back, ringing me for extra specialist appointments etc that i cant imagne a woman would be left like this. If she was freaking out about her cser being booked so close to her due date and freaked out about the pain then why would she not have insisted on an ultrasound or something?!

What are your thoughts? Id love to hear. I guess its a bit of a blow and makes it hard to tell and explain to people how safe my plans are but yes at the end of the day, it can just happen. Things do go wrong and although the ceserean rate in NZ is above 30% and most arent necessery, there is that small percent that definatley is.

My heart goes out to the familt mentioned in the article xx

Friday 9 March 2012

Putting all my trust in my body, where im at

So the last few weeks have been crazy! Lots going on. My husband and I celebrated our 1st wedding anniversary on Febuary 26. We went to New Plymouth, where we got married and spent a few days there whilst my mumma looked after the kids. They loved it! Im amazed there wasnt any tears or asking for me as it was their first time ever away from me. Thats about all thats worth reporting...
A little thing within the family has 'popped' up and is causing turmoil in my life. Im beginning to feel depressed. I feel miserable and cant stop crying. When i found out i was pregnant about 20weeks ago i decided that i was not going to put myself through what i went through last time, i was going to cut the people out of my life that dont make me feel good. To think positively, to trust my body and to not treat my being pregnant as an illness. Id like to think that thus far i have lived up to those things i told myself all that time ago. However, certain things truly get to me. What people say and do and the way they act towards me truly can hurt and does cut deeper in me then most other people. I get told not to listen or not to let it get to me...sometimes it just does. For the last year theres been a person in my life who has constantly been rude, nasty and just a classic bitch but because of who she is i havent said anything. Well a few days ago things came to a head............................
Now all i can do is cry. Everything is getting to me. Everything is making me feel bad. I cant smile. Im taking it out on my husband. Im feeling my depression take hold. Im truly trying soo hard to stay on top of it and to try and not let it bother me. Im closing my eyes and getting within my soul and chanting my positive chants into myself. Yet still i feel it taking ahold. Im scared. Ive done soo amazing these last 20 weeks to stay on top, to be positive and now because of this one thing im left feeling helpless. Like im drowning in a sea of bullshit.
So what to do from here, where to go.

First of all, tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning.
To remember that the way 1 person treats me does not dictate the way i should be treated and that the people that truly matter to me will fall asleep next to me, 2 of them in my arms, 1 in my belly and 1 with his arms around me and i will wake up to the beautiful sounds of my children deciding who can kiss me first. These 4 people are who matter to me most and they love me whole heartedly (even when my eldest tells me hes not my friend).
To remember that my sole purpose in life is to be the best possible wife and mother i can. And to make this journey to vaginal birth as safe and as natural as possible. To do this i MUST remember the following things.
To stay positive.
To keep allowing myself to learn about my body and to trust in its ability to carry and deliver my baby safetly into my arms.
To not allow outsiders to control the way i think and feel.
To nuture not only this beautiful baby growing inside me but to also treat my body like a temple.

So where im at...
Im feeling positive towards my natural birth and safetly having my child in my arms when the time is right. I need time to process what is happening with this person and i need to be given that time without being pressured to make it right. I need extra love and support and to be given a hug when im feeling down. I need to be treated with respect and given the consideration that should be given to a young women with 2 toddlers who is also 6months pregnant.

Im sure i could probably go on for hours and hours and blurt everything, all the hurt i am feeling out but i wont. Ill spare all of you that. Let me find a quote that i need to help me sleep....

You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.
-Wayne Dyer