Monday, 18 June 2012

38 weeks & counting......

Today i am 38 weeks and 1 day pregnant.
I am beginning to feel as though i will be pregnant forever! I didnt think i would start feeling this way untill at least 40 weeks. I was dreading this part, where i am beginning to hate being pregnant and longing for a baby to hold in my arms. But...thats every pregnant womens rant at this point, right?!

Where i am at with all this vaginal birth stuff...
So one of my last posts i wrote that i was getting knocked around a bit and loosing my faith and positivity regarding VBAC. I was crying and emotional and didnt really care any more.

Ive since been thinking about it all and to be honest i think that what was going on with me was the fact that like every pregnant woman the end was coming closer and i was anxious. I wasnt freaking out about my personal situation, i just had the natural thoughts any woman has when the time is near. I truly believe in my body, i know my uterus is fine, i know my body and my baby are both fine. We will work together and get this done the way nature intended. Im not scared of anything, im excited to feel those first few contractions and to feel the waves of them ride over me as i sway into them and become one with them. Im soo excited to feel my baby moving deep within me and with each contraction and each push feeling him/her slowly moving down and ready to emerge. EEK!! I cant wait! Im ready for you little baby xx

I dreamt of you last night, i was in the bath and your daddy was sitting opposite me, i push and lay back as you emerge from within me into your papas hands, he places you on my chest as i sit up and with that we see you, we feel you, we meet you and we hear your tiny cry for the first time.

This is the second most signifigant dream about your birth i have had during this pregnancy. We wanted your sex to stay a surprise and your definatley keeping it a surprise! With both dreams your 'bits' are well hidden from me. We cant wait to see what you are!!

Little miracle living inside me, we have your little bed all ready for you... (Dont worry though, youll never sleep in it, i fully intend to co-sleep with you. Daddys just a bit freaked out by that concept but hey, he came around to the whole homebirth thing.) Hehe!

Hmm so on another note....
Has anyone out there given themselves cervical exams or anything of the sort?? Just something ive been thinking about but something ive never done. I have read about cervical massage aswell as a stretch and sweep.....    What do you all think, worth it?
I want my baby to pick his or hers own birthday. I want labor to start naturally and spontaniously but within saying that i hope its really soon. Im only 38weeks but im starting to feel as though it will never happen naturally and that no midwife or doctor will induce me due to the whole VBA2C thing and im also scared if i go too far overdue that my baby will be hugely huge! My first baby was 12days overdue and weighed 9lb 12oz, my second baby was 5weeks prem and weighed 6lb 8oz. So im probly looking at another BIG baby, not that that really matters but then ill start thinking all about tearing etc.

So what im trying to say is that maybe a little cervical massage with some help from my darling hubby may not be a bad thing???!!!

Hmmm who knows!! Well midwife appointment tomorrow afternoon...ill let you know how it goes them! Send me lots of positive and beautiful labor thoughts. Hehe xx

1 comment:

  1. Just wanted to say that you are an inspiration to me and I am sure countless other women. I'm so glad I found your blog b/c you have been able to voice the truth that I have felt for a long time. I also had 2 c/s that I believe if I had been left to my privacy would have birthed my babies! I feel a big part of my "failed" vbac attempt was do to fear and no privacy in the hospital.I wish you lots of luck! Positive thoughts sent your way strong momma!